Inadequacy 

"We tend to rationalize a passivity because of the self-awareness of our own inadequacy, something that should never embody a follower of Christ because God is always with us and He’s not really worried about what He’s got to work with.  When you’re doing your best, the results don’t matter because He already knows them. He’s pleased that you’re trying.  If we start recognizing that He is always with us, it will begin to bring about a sense of peace and holiness to our everyday life.  God can use anybody, and He so often has this tendency of using broken vessels to usher in the Kingdom. Nobody can stop those who God is for.  He is jealous for our affections because He loves us SO much, and he knows that without Him we will shipwreck our lives" -- Isaac Hunter

So often times I find myself sitting in my room with this great inspiration to do something...

1. I recognize that God called us to go out into the world and be a light in the darkness
2. As a follower of Christ I believe that we’re supposed to do radical things to further His kingdom that puts us in places where we’re totally dependent on Him to come through, because that’s where He gets the most glory

But then I stop and think "big picture", and I instantly become self-aware of how inadequate I am as a 20 year old college student, who doesn’t really know THAT much about anything. So I make justifications in my head as to why I’m living in this repetitive cycle, and I go on doing it, like a hamster on a wheel.  But what I find myself doing is actually MISSING the big picture, because our inadequacy is always going to be prevalent in our life, that's why we have God, that why God is always with us. Because He is all we need and always with us.. and that is where we can allow Him to shine through our lives. So, as I go through my routines, I find myself being equipped with God's word and character, through church and time spent in reflection, prayer, and the Bible… but I don’t see myself putting it to use, and I don’t feel like I’m really making a difference.  I know there’s a season for everything, but I also believe settling into a comfortable routine is not what we’re called to. I believe we’re not only to work at our education with everything as working for the Lord (Col. 3:23) but also to be working for the Lord through everything, and working towards rebuilding the city and Kingdom as well.  So that’s my goal this Summer, to overcome, and to go OUT into the city. To intertwine my heart with His and live out my faith in a refreshed and new way.

Words from Kurt at Status

May 27th, 2012

Whether we know it or not, we are spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ in our life through our words and actions, when we're surrounded by friends, and family.   He tells us in scripture that we are His branches, we're not trying to be His branches, and that is what we should always find our identity in, no matter who we are around. And as we continuously abide with Christ and the Holy Spirit, and we feed our relationship with Him, He'll begin to unlock certain things within us that will flow out of us and be seen by the people in our life.  And the more we nurture that relationship, the "trying to bear fruit" begins to fade and we begin to grow and bear fruit without trying, all due to the way we have been continuously feeding and nurturing our relationship with Him. 

My Psalm 51 Prayer

"Surely You desire truth in the inner parts
You teach me wisdom in the inmost place
Create in me a pure heart, O God
And renew a steadfast spirit within me
Do not cast me from Your presence

or take Your Holy Spirit from me

Restore to me the JOY of your salvation

And grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart."

Ecclesiastes

"Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand."

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."

"Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you -- for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others"

"Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.  For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man's misery weighs heavily upon him.  Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come? No man has power over the wind to contain it; so no one has power over the day of his death. And as no one is discharged in time of war, so wickedness will not release those who practice it."

"Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom"

"The race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise, or wealth to the brilliant, or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all"

"Whoever watches the wind will not plant. Whoever watches the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things"

"Be happy young man while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgement. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless."

I used to pour my heart into writing, be it poems, stories, or just day-to-day thoughts.  My writing subsided when I began to realize it lead me to over think things and under appreciate the situations my life blessed me with.  I was getting lost in the angst of what had happened and started losing sight of God in it all.  I'm coming back around.  I have a new-found hope in myself and in God, but it's been a real struggle to make my way back to him.  Isaac preached this Sunday on Missing Home and it was the one message that I didn't realize I needed until I was sitting there listening and getting convicted sentence after sentence.  I don't only love Isaac because he challenges me, I love him because he speaks truth and his truth is like a train hitting you in the face.  It helps you realize so much about yourself but also so much about God and his love.


I'm a work in progress, but I just wanted to get that out.
Also.. Romans 5:3-5.

You have to Love

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

—	Louise Erdrich (via girlwithoutwings)

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."