Inadequacy
"We tend to rationalize a passivity because of the self-awareness of our own inadequacy, something that should never embody a follower of Christ because God is always with us and He’s not really worried about what He’s got to work with. When you’re doing your best, the results don’t matter because He already knows them. He’s pleased that you’re trying. If we start recognizing that He is always with us, it will begin to bring about a sense of peace and holiness to our everyday life. God can use anybody, and He so often has this tendency of using broken vessels to usher in the Kingdom. Nobody can stop those who God is for. He is jealous for our affections because He loves us SO much, and he knows that without Him we will shipwreck our lives" -- Isaac Hunter
So often times I find myself sitting in my room with this great inspiration to do something...
1. I recognize that God called us to go out into the world and be a light in the darkness
2. As a follower of Christ I believe that we’re supposed to do radical things to further His kingdom that puts us in places where we’re totally dependent on Him to come through, because that’s where He gets the most glory
But then I stop and think "big picture", and I instantly become self-aware of how inadequate I am as a 20 year old college student, who doesn’t really know THAT much about anything. So I make justifications in my head as to why I’m living in this repetitive cycle, and I go on doing it, like a hamster on a wheel. But what I find myself doing is actually MISSING the big picture, because our inadequacy is always going to be prevalent in our life, that's why we have God, that why God is always with us. Because He is all we need and always with us.. and that is where we can allow Him to shine through our lives. So, as I go through my routines, I find myself being equipped with God's word and character, through church and time spent in reflection, prayer, and the Bible… but I don’t see myself putting it to use, and I don’t feel like I’m really making a difference. I know there’s a season for everything, but I also believe settling into a comfortable routine is not what we’re called to. I believe we’re not only to work at our education with everything as working for the Lord (Col. 3:23) but also to be working for the Lord through everything, and working towards rebuilding the city and Kingdom as well. So that’s my goal this Summer, to overcome, and to go OUT into the city. To intertwine my heart with His and live out my faith in a refreshed and new way.
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